Betrayed
by JoaniexJony
Summary: This is my first fanfic so please let me know what you think as I am new to writing and would appreciate con crit. Summary:- What if "leave no man behind" doesnt refer to you? John S whump and angst as the situation he fears most becomes a reality.
1. Chapter 1

When Carson Beckett began studying medicine over 20years ago his mother had high hopes that he would return to his native town of Paisley and become a country doctor seeing to the needs of the local community.

Fate however had other plans and after gaining several degrees, working at the SGC and latterly going to Atlantis, well it was looking as if his dear old mum finally got her wish.

After his untimely demise and subsequent cloning he was now working on MP9XO helping the survivors of the Hoffman drug set up a clinic in their new home and generally seeing to the medical needs of the population until he was confident that they could cope on their own.

It was rewarding if undemanding work however he missed his friends in Atlantis but Jennifer was doing a good job there and well, he was the first to admit what he didn't miss were the constant life and death situations that seemed to be part of the CMOs job.

Earlier that evening he had delivered the latest resident, a boy, to Shania and Regis Gervan. Despite his protests, they had insisted on calling the newborn Carson and had sent him home with a large basket full of provisions including a bottle of the local brew. It might not have been the single malt he was so fond of but he was looking forward to getting back to his digs and sitting down in front of the log fire and having a couple of drams.

As he approached the door to his cabin he noticed that something didn't look quite right. His time in Atlantis and being Michaels prisoner had made him alert to the dangers that existed in the Pegasus galaxy. Sheppard would have been proud of the way he checked the perimeter for potential threats before reaching for the 9mm he kept hidden in the gutter.

Finally, he slowly opened the door. There were no visible hostile s there but his uneasiness persisted. His nerves on edge, he nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a noise coming from the bedroom. Carson could feel his heart hammering loudly against his chest and wondered if the intruder could hear it too but he couldn't turn back now and pushing the door open quickly he prepared himself for the fight.

In the dim light Carson could barely see the man that lay tossing restless on his bed. This was just too odd. As he approached a familiar face looked up "Hi Carson, long time no see".


	2. Chapter 2

BETRAYED CHAPTER II

John Sheppard walked through the gate' into the penal colony of Aldova and was nearly overcome with the bright sunlight and intense heat.

Great...just what his situation needed a dessert planet. All around him as far as the eye could see, were miles and miles of a flat sandy landscape, no hills, trees or anything to break up the terrain.. In other words the best possible location for a prison but the worst location to even consider trying an escape attempt.

Sheppard swallowed the bile at the back of his throat, he didn't doubt that his team would come for him but under these conditions it would be difficult to mount a rescue so he would just have to be patient.

Warden Garvis watched as the prisoners slowly walked into the courtyard. Over the 15 years since he became the warden here, he had learned to identify the crime committed by looking at the man before him. However as his eyes fell upon the tall man with the dark unruly hair, for the first time in years he realised that this prisoner, John Sheppard, didn't fall into any category he recognised.

From the paperwork in front of him he could see that the prisoner had been sentenced to 20 lashes and 3 months hard labour for killing a sacred borac.

Garvis knew that the usual sentence for this crime was death by lash, however as the man was an off worlder and ignorant of their beliefs, he had killed the beast when it had tried to attack a child unaware of the atrocity he had committed. Therefore the Justice Minister had decreed that a more merciful sentence be given.

The stilted way that the prisoner held himself was the only indication that he had already received the first part of his punishment and Garvis ccouldn't help but admire Sheppard as he had managed to walk the mile from the gate, despite his pain and in the intense heat, unaided.

John could hardly focus on what the warden was saying as his back burned like fire and the walk

from the gate had taken the remaining strength he had left. His vision started to grey around the edges and because of the manacles around his wrists and ankles he couldn't stop himself when he stumbled and fell to his knees.

Damn! - he hated showing weakness.. The warden walked up to stand in front of him and John, who had, in the past, been the victim of some of the most sadistic men in both galaxy's couldn't help feeling a little afraid of what was coming next.

"Guard, this man is in need of medical attention, take him to the infirmary"

The surprised look that John gave him make the warden realise that this prisoner was not the usual sort of man who crossed his path and he obviously had an interesting past. However as the guard helped Sheppard to his feet and led him away, Gervis went away to attend to his other duties and didn't give the new prisoner any further thought.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for all the great reviews, I am really thrilled!

I am sorry that the chapters are a bit short but hopefully as I get a bit more experienced they will get longer however at the moment I am hoping to post something every day.

Disclaimer:- Don't own SGA, if I did it would be on its 6th Season.

BETRAYED

CHAPTER III

The "Infirmary" was only a long wooden hut at the end of the cell block. It had six beds lining the back wall but there was only one patient at the moment, a small boy, probably about 7yrs old with blond wavy hair. John couldn't be sure but the child looked as though he had the Pegasus version of chicken pox. The way his luck was going at the moment he would probably catch it...

As he waited for the doctor to arrive John couldn't help but be reminded of a school trip to the Smithsonian. Seriously, the small first aid kit they carried in the Jumpers was better equipped than this place. Not for the first time to-day he was struggling to stay positive . At least his team was safe.

An elderly man resembling Einstein finally made an appearance. He looked at Johns back and instructed the guard to take off the manacles around his wrists.

Sheppard had been in so much pain during the whipping that he had failed to notice that the manacles that had been supporting his weight on the pole had abraded the skin around his wrists leaving dried bloody trails up his arms.

During the next hour Sheppard started to wonder what had been worse the whipping or the treatment for his wounds. The Doc ( who he had nicknamed "AL") had declared that the lacerations had become infected and would need to be cleaned out properly before he could treat his back. Man it hurt like a bitch as the doc took his sweet time cleaning each laceration. After a few minutes of raw skin versus antiseptic John blissfully passed out.

The green goo like ointment which was applied next, stung like hell but after a few minutes the blazing heat on his back dulled down to a tolerable ache. The doc had decreed that John would spend the night for observation so the guard helped John onto one of the beds and attached a chain from the foot of the bed to the manacles around his ankles. Shep felt quite flattered that anyone thought he was capable of an escape in the condition he was in but he was so damned tired that he closed his eyes and let the darkness take him.

* * *

"Seriously Carson, how can you expect someone with my bad back to sleep on this excuse for a bed and do you welcome all of your visitors with a 9mm?"

Carson let out the breath he had been holding and put the safety on his gun.

" Hello Rodney, not that is isn't nice to see you but what exactly are you doing here, creeping about my house, sleeping in my bed and oh yes, bye the way, scaring me half to death in the middle of the night!"

While Rodney was ranting about the hut not being an actual house and "har de har, this wasn't the 3 Bears" Carson took the bottle from the basket, found two glasses and walked into the living room.

Carson put a log on the dwindling flames of the log fire and sat down on the chair beside it relishing the heat that it provided. He poured out a couple of drinks and handed one to his friend.

"Does this have citrus in it?" Carson shook his head and Rodney swallowed the drink in one gulp.

Rodney helped himself to another glass and continued to rant about nothing in particular while pacing up and down the small cabin floor. The earlier warmth that the fire provided was replaced by an icy chill up his spine as Carson realised that there must be something seriously wrong for Rodney to risk coming thought the gate' alone, in the middle of the night.

* * *

John awoke to a pair of small blue eyes staring at him.

"Mister, why does your hair stand up like that?

AL called out to the young boy to leave the man alone. John heard the man gently scold the boy about talking to the prisoners and how his father wouldn't approve.

The boy was apparently called Simeon and alough he sulked back to his own bed he continued to stare at John.

The doc came over and put his withered hand upon Johns head. "you have a fever young man. I know that the warden is keen to put you to work but I will tell him that I need to keep you here until your fever has broken and you are strong enough to cope with working in the quarry"

John nodded his thanks. Well actually, that was the only movement he could make right now as every muscle ached and Satan had just stoked up the fire from hell on his back. The doc helped him drink some water and gave him something from a little blue bottle for the pain. It might not have been one of Kellars good drugs but it dulled down his aches to a manageable level and he went back to sleep.

The next time he came to he still felt too hot but on the whole a lot better than before. From where he was lying he could see Simeon's brow furrowed into a frown as he was staring into a book.

" Hey mister, do you know anything about numbers?"

Sheppard had a quick look around the room and as AL was nowhere in sight he asked the boy what he wanted to know. Before he had time to consider what kind of trouble this could bring him, the boy parked himself on the bed opposite and the book was thrust into his face.

Ignoring his aches for the time being John pushed himself onto his elbow and for the next couple of hours the tall dark haired man from Earth and the young Pegasus galaxy native worked together as one, lost in the joy of numbers until a pair of familiar shoes appeared in front of them.

" What are you doing with my son?"

John looked up at the angry warden standing before him – he was so screwed.....


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks so much for the great reviews, they are really appreciated.

Hopefully this chapter will answer some of your questions...but not all!

Disclaimer:- SGA isn't mine, if it was it would be in its 6th Season

BETRAYED

CHAPTER IIII

Carson woke up to the sound of banging at the door. He quickly got up and regretted the movement straight away as men with really large hammers took residence in his head.

"I'm coming, I'm coming, keep your bloody hair on!" he growled as he lowered his feet to the ground and slowly this time, got to his feet. On the way to the door he passed by Rodney who, mouth open was drooling onto Carson s nice leather chair...lovely. Beside him in the middle of the floor, was the (now empty ) bottle of local brew.

The sadist at the door had obviously gotten impatient and had started banging again " Carson are you in there?" Ronon.. what the hell! This was turning into an Atlantis reunion. He opened the door and let the big guy in. "Is McKay with...oh right, is he okay?" Ronon walked over to his sleeping team mate, saw the state of Carson and the empty bottle on the floor and smiled for a second. However it quickly disappeared and was replaced by a grim look. "He left last night and didn't say where he was going, Teyla thought he would be with you but she was still worried" Carson realised that in all of the years of knowing the man, this was the longest statement he had ever heard Ronon make. Aye, something was definitely wrong.

Carson had tried to get Rodney to talk about what was bothering him last night but the man couldn't hold his liquor and after a few drinks had passed out. His thoughts were interrupted by a low groan from that individual. Carson went into his kit and reached for two packs of Tylenol. He grabbed a glass of water handed Rodney the tablets and then took some himself.

"Right lads, as much as I am flattered to receive not one but two visitors in one day, I know you both well enough to know that it isn't my scintillating company you really wanted ..so lets have it , what's wrong?" The two men shifted their feet and looked uncomfortable but between them the story came out and Carsons' blood ran cold as he heard what had happened on Aldova..

The trading mission had been going well and Teyla had agreed terms with the Mayor when suddenly an animal, not unlike a small boar, ran out of the bushes and would have killed a little girl if Sheppard hadn't shot it. Instead of grateful locals patting him on the back, the local guard quickly surrounded him and placed him in restraints. John didn't want a blood bath, so had told the team to stand down as he was sure that he could reason with the authorities. Sheppard was dragged away to the local jail and put before the Justice Minister within the hour.

Compassion was obviously not a word in the Aldovians vocabulary as the Minister refused to release him without punishment and handed down a sentence of 20 lashes and 3 months hard labour. When Sheppard protested, he was told that the creature he killed was a "sacred" borac and he should consider himself fortunate as the usual sentence was death by lash...

Sheppard tried to put a brave face on it as he told the team the news. Ronan wanted to mount a rescue then and there but John didn't want to put the innocent people of the town at risk. So the team were reluctantly escorted back to the gate vowing to return, with the sound of the whip lashing Sheppard's back ringing in their ears.

The small cabin had suddenly become oppressive and Rodney bolted outside of the door to be violently sick. Ronon grabbed the empty bottle and threw it against the wall. Carson got up and put a hand on Ronons' shoulder before walking outside to sit by his friend. As Rodney brought up yesterdays meatloaf Carson started to rub small circles on his back until the dry heaves had finally stopped. When Rodney finally turned around to face him there was tears in his eyes. Nothing more needed to be said.

Once Rodney had composed himself Carson led him back into the cabin and looking at them both asked " So when are you rescuing the lad ?"

* * *

He had been in worst prisons...but not many.

After Sheppard had been released from the Infirmary he had been taken down to the accommodation block and issued with two uniforms comprising of a bright orange tunic and matching pants. He was allowed to keep his boots – cut backs must be a constant in every galaxy - but he was given a shiny new metal collar with his prison ID on it. John Sheppard was no more; he was now officially number 92.

Next on the agenda was a visit to the barbers where the final part of the dehumanising process took place. John was given a buzz cut – now that just sucked....

Prison rules forbade socialising with other prisoners so each man lived alone in their own tiny cell.

They comprised of three stone walls and a heavy metal door with a large rectangular hatch. There was barely enough room for the narrow bed and slops bucket. At the top of the middle wall there was a small opening with three metal bars but no glass. This meant that the cell was oppressively hot during the day and freezing cold when the temperature dropped after sundown.

John quickly learned the routine. He along with the others were woken at 5am every day and were given breakfast in their cells. It was the usual fare, watery cereal and a mug of lukewarm water.

Next they were instructed to put their hands through the hatch so that manacles could be placed around their wrists. The manacles around Johns ankles had not been removed since he was arrested so that the skin under the metal bands had started to tear and bleed with each step he took.

Only then did the guards release the prisoners from their cells and march them out to the quarry located 5 miles away. When Sheppard first seen it he thought that he had stepped into a bad clichéd movie as their job was to break the large blocks of stone into small pieces.

The only thing that made his situation bearable was the friendship he had forged with the young boy Simeon.

Garvis had been enraged when he had seen the prisoner bonding with his son. This man, John Sheppard, had been able to communicate with Simeon in a way that he had never been able to.

Since his wife had been taken by the fever two years ago he had tried to do his best for the boy but looking at his son laughing but also learning with this stranger had made him realise that regardless of the jealousy he felt, he had to put the boy first. Sheppard was approached and readily agreed to tutor Simeon, three nights a week after returning from the quarry.

They say that time flies when you are having fun, but time also passes when you were stuck in a living nightmare. John woke up every day hoping that this was the day that his team would come to get him.

In the beginning he would make up excuses for the delay. A problem with the gate' or maybe they were waiting for the Daedalus to arrive. But the days turned into weeks and finally 8 weeks into his incarceration John realised that " Leave no man behind" no longer referred to him and that that he had no choice but to"suck it up" and sit out the remainder of his sentence before he could go home.

Home... he never felt he had a home until he came to Atlantis but now?


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for the great reviews, they are really giving me encouragement to get this finished – sooner rather that later!

Isn't is funny how a hair cut can get such a reaction?! Thanks for sticking with the story, there is an end in sight and I promise this chapter will answer yet more questions.....

Disclaimer:- SGA isn't mine. If it was it would be on its 6th Season.

BETRAYED

CHAPTER V

The first time Simeon seen his friends new haircut he wasn't happy.

Simeon had planned to ask John to show him how to get his hair to go into spikes like that and now.. well, it just wasn't fair, his father spoiled all of his fun. Sheppard was getting embarrassed at the way the boy was staring at his head. He couldn't blame the boy really, as he knew that he looked like an escapee from a freak show but Garvis was watching them and if John couldn't get the boy back on tract he would lose the only thing that saved his sanity in this hellish place. Finally he managed to distract the boy by teaching him how to play" prime not prime" so that they could get on with the lesson.

Garvis was struggling not to smile when he seen his sons mutinous expression. He almost felt sorry for Sheppard, no, he must remember to call him 92, as the man's face blushed bright red under Simeon's' gaze. Perhaps he would spare 92 from future trips to the barber. After all it was only a small thing and it would make his son happy. Besides which, the prisoner had willing offered his time to help Simeon and hadn't asked for anything in return.

Of course there was always a price to be paid for good deeds...

The other prisoners quickly found out that John was tutoring the Wardens son and when it became clear that he was being allowed to grow his hair, then the "accidents" started to happen.

Sheppard was becoming a regular in the Infirmary when he "slipped" in the shower room resulting in a black eye and minor concussion. Or when he "fell over" in the quarry and cracked his ribs.

Garvis had his suspicions about the alleged accidents but as 92 stubbornly refused to comment, he could only instruct the guards to keep a watchful eye on the man.

The prisoners weren't the only ones interested in the new tutor.

Malic Francs had been a Supervisory Guard in the prison for over 20 years. When the last warden left he was confident that the Wardens position would be his. After all, his brother was the Justice Minister in Aldova so with his support the rest of the council would back his application – but they didn't and Garvis, who came from the neighbouring village of Caltorn was given the job.

Francs watched in disgust as Garvis starting making changes. The guards were no longer allowed to beat the prisoners to keep them working. Branding the prisoners with their IDs was replaced by the metal collars and finally the Infirmary was built and a doctor hired to attend the sick and injured.

Revenge was indeed a dish best served cold and Malic smiled as he realised that this prisoner was the means to finally get rid of the Warden and take his place. First, he would speak to his brother and find out all he could about the off worlder.

* * *

Torren John was teething.

The only thing that seemed to settle the child was walking up and down the halls of Atlantis ending up in Johns favourite balcony. Teyla realised that the tension she was carrying around was transferring onto her child but like everyone else in Atlantis these days she just couldn't relax knowing that her friend, Torrens godfather, was rotting in prison.

It was true that in the beginning Mr Woolsey had dragged his feet, believing that his diplomatic skills would secure Sheppard's release. But when he returned through the gate', ashen faced, they all knew that something had gone wrong.

Woolsey considered himself to be a skilled negotiator on Earth but here in the Pegasus galaxy he was facing situations that he could never have imagined. As he reached for a bottle of brandy he despised himself for drinking in the middle of the day, but after the encounter he'd just had it was really only medicinal in order to settle his nerves and take the bad taste out of his mouth.

The atmosphere in the conference room was grim as Woolsey advised Sheppard's team and the Dept. heads of the discussion that had taken place. Atlantis had offered medical aid and supplies plus technical expertise to help improve the towns infrastructure but it soon became clear that all the Justice Minister wanted was guns and ammunition.

The way that Woolsey told it, the man had positively gloated when he informed him that there would be no early release for the "prisoner " unless Atlantis helped them fight a war with the neighbouring town of Caltorn. The fact that, so far, there was no war with the good people of Caltorn was testament to the fact that the Justice Minister was hungry for power and had used his position to punish Sheppard so that he could blackmail Atlantis into giving him what he wanted.

Under normal circumstances a jumper with Johns team and a squad of marines would have been sent to extract the Atlantis Military CO but then the slimy little man came up with his trump card. The little girl that Sheppard had saved and her family had been removed from the village and if any attempt was made to rescue their friend his guards had been instructed to kill them all....

Teyla could feel her eyes fill with tears of frustration as she looked down at her beautiful child.

It had been many weeks now since John had been taken and so far all of her contacts had been unable to supply her with information of the family's where abouts. Surely, there must be some news soon as she knew John well enough that he would not want his release at the expense of innocent lives.

* * *

Garvis had been dismayed to hear of Sheppard's latest "accident"

How he was expected to believe that the man had managed to stab his own leg with his own pickaxe beggared belief. As usual John had refused to say what had happened and now lay in the Infirmary unable to walk and suffering a low grade fever as a result of infection.

Sheppard had insisted that he felt well enough to give Simeon his lesson and so when the Warden and his son entered the room they found the patient sitting on a chair, looking pale and gaunt, with his leg supported by a stool.

John felt like hell and he was starting to wonder if he would manage to survive the remaining few weeks of his sentence but at least this injury had meant that the dreaded manacles had been removed from his ankles and for the first time in months he could start to get a better range of movement in his legs...well he would, once he was able to walk again.

Garvis has stopped thinking of Sheppard as just another prisoner some weeks ago. The way his son had blossomed under his teaching was only one of the reasons that made him realise that under different circumstances he would have been proud to call this man his friend. When John had asked him if he wanted to sit in on the lessons so that he would be able to tutor Simeon after his release, Garvis immediately agreed. At first Simeon resented sharing his lessons with his father but it didn't take long before the shared learning had brought father and son to-gether in a way that he would never have thought possible.

Malic turned the 9mm around in his hand savouring the feel of the metal on his skin and smiled.

After he had spoken to his brother a plan had been formed that would benefit both men. Sheppard's gun had been taken when he was arrested. It was arranged that the gun be smuggled to Malic along with the last supply transport. Francs had kept the weapon hidden until the perfect opportunity presented itself. He could just see himself telling the council members the tragic day on which the Warden was killed by the off worlder using a gun smuggled in to him by his friends. It was just fortunate of course that he was nearby when the shot rang out and forsaking his own safety, he killed the murderer as he was strangling the boy.... As for his brother, he was unused to having his plans thwarted. The death of the Atlantian would have to suffice as revenge for his peoples unwillingness to help him with his plans.

John was starting to tire. Garvis could tell that the man was struggling to stay awake so he told Simeon to wish his friend goodnight and headed for the door. Suddenly, Malic came out of the shadows and brought the 9mm up to fire. Adrenaline took over as John acted on instinct and launched himself out of his chain and into the Warden. He was vaguely aware of a shot ringing out and Garvis struggling with the assailant, was he one of the guards? John started to panic when he couldn't see Simeon but then the boy appeared by his side, in tears, his hand covered in blood. "Are you okay?" Simeon nodded his head. Sheppard decided that now was as good a time as any to let the darkness take him as the blood from from his side pooled out onto the floor

* * *

Ronon, Teyla and McKay watched with satisfaction as the so called Justice Minister was arrested by his own guards and taken away to the cells.

It had taken far longer than any of them would have liked but Teyla's contacts finally came through.

In the end all it had taken was the team in a puddle jumper to rescue the family. When the guards loyal to the Minister saw what they were up against they quickly laid down their weapons without so much as a shot being fired. Ronon hadn't been too pleased about that but as Teyla assured him at least now they could go and bring their friend home.

As for the Justice Minster, when the family were returned to the village and told their tale to the Council Members, it gave them the excuse they had been looking for to arrest him, as they had suspicions of his tretchory but until now had lacked the proof.

For the first time in months the atmosphere inside the jumper was practically jovial as they arrived at the prison to bring their CO and friend back to Atlantis where he belonged.

Garvis looked puzzled as he came out to meet the Atlantis contingent. McKay impatiently handed over the release papers and looked around waiting for Sheppard to appear.

"Well, where is he?"

Garvis looked at all three of them "Your friend, John Sheppard, left this facility some time ago, but before he left he asked me to give you this"

Rodney took the letter in his hand, it was addressed to Woolsey...


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks again for the great reviews! I really appreciate the support.

Disclaimer:- SGA isn't mine, if it was it would be on its 6th Season

BETRAYED

CHAPTER VI

A solitary man watched the familiar sight of the jumper disappear through the event horizon.

So, they had come for him after all, but it was just too late..

John stumbled the short distance back to the bed and let his head fall back against the pillows. Man he felt like crap.

For once he had got lucky as the bullet had gone straight through and missed the vital organs but he had lost a fair amount of blood and the infection that he'd had from the wound to his leg had gone up a couple of notches due to this latest injury. It was his own fault that he'd added to his wounds by asking the Doc to remove his transmitter but what was one more injury and after all, he really didn't want to be found.

AL had done his best but he knew that if he didn't get proper medical attention soon the blood loss and infection that was sapping his strength would likely kill him and he might be seeing his father, again sooner rather than later.

It was strange how life could turn around. Three days ago he had been prisoner 92, scum of the earth, now he was an honoured guest, residing in the Wardens home, lying on the Wardens bed, being waited on hand and foot.

Garvis observed Sheppard closely as he walked into the room. This man had been subjected to the harsh regime in a prison where he was Warden and yet, he hadn't hesitated to put himself in harms way to save his life and that of his son, nearly costing John his own life in the process. Garvis knew that he could never repay such a debt but he would certainly do all that he could to help him now.

"I didn't think that your people were ever going to leave. When I gave the letter to, is it Dr McKay?, I thought he was going to be sick. Are you sure that this is what you want John? These people seemed genuinely upset to find out that you had left and were most annoyed when I couldn't tell them where you had gone. For a moment I actually thought the large man with the hair was going to shoot me if it wasn't for the woman dragging him away"

A shadow of a smile passed Johns lips as he pictured Ronon being restrained by Teyla but he had made his decision. He wasn't going back to Atlantis, at least not yet. When he did finally return it would only be to collect his stuff and then he would go somewhere, anywhere else, and try to make a fresh start. John turned his head on the pillow and pretended to fall asleep so that Garvis wouldn't be able to see the tears in his eyes. What was it about him that caused people, his family, friends to leave him behind? Sheppard had been a big boy for a long time now and could take care of himself but sometimes it was nice for someone to care enough to look after you for a change. He thought he had found that in Atlantis but he had been wrong.

John knew that he had abandonment issues.

First it had been his father, his own flesh and blood, who had rejected him just because he had refused to become a corporate clone and went away to join the Air force. He had only just recently started speaking to his brother Dave again but things between then were still strained.

Nancy, his beautiful wife had been next. John couldn't blame her really, as she grew tried of wondering where he was and worring about when the phone call would come to tell her that he wasn't coming home. They had split up years ago but he still missed the smell of her hair and her gentle touch in the morning...Next it was the Air force who had left him to rot in Antartica when they punished him for putting human lives over rules and regulations. John still believed he was right, no man should be left behind.

When he came to Atlantis he finally thought he had found a new home. The friends he made there had become the "family" he'd never had. However even there things had gone wrong. It really wasn't fair to blame them for the 6 mths he spent with Teer and the rest of the Ancients, as to them it had only been a couple of days. However if it wasn't for Todd, a Wraith of all things, well he would have died on that Geni outpost for sure...

Great, now his head had started to ache along with the rest of his body. He had to stop thinking, stop feeling. John knew that he had to make plans for his future, hell for his survival even, but he was so dammed tired he allowed sleep to take him and maybe, just maybe when he next woke up he would know what to do next.

* * *

It was a great day for fishing.

The one thing that Carson enjoyed most about his current situation was that he was essentially his own boss so emergency's permitting, he allowed himself the occasional day off to pursue his favourite past time.

To-day was perfect, the sun was shining and Regis had made him a new lure which he assured Carson would guarantee him a large catch with the fish that resided in the nearby river. It might not be the picturesque Lochs of Scotland but he was looking forward to a day out none the less.

"Well where is he? You must be hiding him somewhere... Sheppard! ...get your skinny ass out here right now!"

"Its nice to see you too Rodney, didn't your mother tell you its bad manners to barge in on people without knocking?"

Without missing a beat, Rodney stepped outside the door and knocked 3 times..

"There, is that better, can I come in now?"

Carson put down his rod and sighed, so much for his day off.

By the time that Ronon and Teyla had come into the room, Rodney, the cheeky little bugger, had checked every single inch of his tiny cabin. Carson would have been really angry with him but when he caught the expression on his face, well it could only be called bereft. Rodney McKay was devastated.

"I'm really sorry Carson, I should have realised you would have told someone, but I really thought that John would have come to you"

"Where is the lad?"

"That's just the thing, we went to bring him home to-day but the Warden, a guy called Garvis, told us that he had already left and didn't know where he had went. I was so sure he would've come here to you, as its the only place he would feel safe outside of Atlantis"

"We took too long. Everyone of us knows Johns past and the number of times that he has been let down by the people he loved. How must he have felt after spending all these months in that dreadful place, without a word from us, the people who are supposed to care for him?

Teylas heartfelt speech silenced all the occupants in the small room as each of them realised the truth of her words. It wasn't enough that they had come to rescue him as for the second time in so many years their rescue had been too little too late. Teylas eyes filled with tears and before Carson knew it she had crossed the cabin and was crying into his shoulder.

"Could you put the kettle on Carson?" Rodney asked

"Yes, of course, where's my manners" " Do you want a cup of tea or I have a little coffee left which you are welcome to?"

Teyla released Carson and found some small comfort in the simple task in helping him gather the cups together and prepare the brew. Another log was put on the fire and the kettle placed on top. In the end no-one except Rodney was interested in having anything to drink so putting the last of the coffee into a cup, they all waited in silence for the kettle to boil. After what seemed like an age, the steam started to appear from the spout and ignoring the cup Rodney took the letter which had been burning a hole in his pocket and placed it over the steam to reveal the contents inside.

All eyes were upon him as he quickly read the letter before placing it on the table.

Looking agitated, he walked outside the cabin only to come straight back in again, finally picking up the letter and handing the letter to Carson.

"Well that its then, its over. The stupid, self centred excuse for a ...He's only gone and resigned!"

* * *

It had been a long day and after the team had finally left Carson had made his way down to the river bank.

But to-day, his hobby no longer appealed the way it usually did and after a couple of hours staring into space he decided to call it quits and go home. The heat of the day had disappeared and Carson was happy to get back into the relative warmth of the cabin. Normally he would read for a while before turning in but the news he had received about his friend had chilled him to the bone and he just wanted to block everything out by trying to go to sleep.

He was just turning out the lights when there was a knock at the door. Surely it wasn't Rodney again?

"Whoever you are, cant it wait until the morning I'm getting ready for bed"

" Hi Carson, its really good to hear your voice – its John."


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks to all of you for staying with the story. The reviews really mean a lot.

Well, what's next for John? Lets find out...

BETRAYED

CHAPTER VII

By the time John finally made it to the cabin he was dead on his feet. The usually short journey from the gate seemed to have taken forever. AL had given him a stout stick to help support his bum leg but he knew that it was the fever raging through his body that made him unable to walk more that a few yards at a time before he was forced to stop and rest. Garvis had tried to persuade him to stay for a few more days but Sheppard knew that there was only person he would trust to fix him in his current condition and that was Carson Beckett.

When Carson opened the door the surprise at seeing Sheppard soon gave way to concern, as John looked close to death.

"John, good God man, what has happened to you?"

"Do you mean apart from being whipped and left to rot in hell for 3mths? I'm sorry Carson I didn't mean to take it out on you I'm just so tir...." Carson just made it to his side before John did a face plant on the floor.

"Right son, what say we get you into the bedroom and let me have a look at you. Okay?"

The adrenaline that had kept John going since he'd left the prison was fading fast and it was all he could do to nod his head.

Carson shouldered John arm to help him towards the bed. He didn't need to take a temperature to know that his friend was gripped by fever. Heat was radiating from his body but he was shaking so hard that Carson was forced to bear most of his weight, which right now was even less than usual.

"John, you and I both know that Atlantis would be the best place for you right now."

"Not going to happen doc. Just do what you can but you have to promise me that you won't let them know I'm here. Look, I'm sorry to put you in this position but if you cant agree to do that I will have to leave right now and you being you really wouldn't be happy about that. Am I right?"

Both men knew that John wasn't capable of going anywhere in the condition he was in but Sheppard was such a stubborn son of a bitch that Carson dare not risk him leaving as soon as the Colonel felt even a little better. His escapes from the Atlantis Infirmary were legendary.

"Tell you what lad, I will keep my silence for now but I took an oath a long time ago to do no harm, so if I feel that your life is in danger I will do what I have to do to keep you alive. Do we have a deal?"

John looked up at him with glazed eyes and nodded. It was as much as he could expect from Beckett as he knew that Carson only had his best interests at heart.

When Carson sat his patient down on the bed it was all he could do to keep the man upright.

"I know that you just want to lie down and sleep son, but I want to have a look at your back first"

Carson pulled up Johns tunic and tut tutted at the welds left by the whip. He was relieved to find them free from infection and almost fully healed but he could only guess at the pain they must have caused at the time. Beckett also knew that these scars would be a permanent reminder of Johns treatment in Aldova and in his current state of mind that couldn't possibly be a good thing. Satisfied that this was at least one injury that he didn't have to treat he helped John to lie back on the bed.

Once his initial examination was complete it made for grim reading. Johns wrists and ankles had scabbed over where deep abrasions had been. Judging from the marks it was clear that Shepard had been restrained hand and foot by some kind of manacle for prolonged periods . There was no infection present which made him realise that someone had treated them very recently. However there was considerable soft tissue damage which would cause weakness in the limbs for some time to come.

"What happened to your leg son?"

"Huh? Oh my leg. One of my fellow inmates decided to put a pick axe through it. Don't think he liked my hair" Carson shook his head and grimaced at the sick joke.

"What the hell! When did you get shot?"

"A few days ago, its a long story doc and I'm really tired. Do you mind if I give you a rain check on that?"

Carson examined the wound and was quite impressed with the tidy needle work. There would have been obvious blood loss but at least the wound was clean and free from infection so it would be his job to keep it that way. The main concern was the the nasty infection In the Colonels leg. Beckett could tell that there was serious muscle damage that would require surgery at a later stage, otherwise his friend wouldn't could get full mobility back. However his main concern at the moment was getting the infection under control. If he didn't it might cause John his leg, maybe even his life.

During the next 48 hours Carson was on the verge of calling Atlantis several times but he had given his word and he was managing to keep Johns fever at bay. It wasn't getting any better but it wasn't getting any worse either. The infection was another story, the broad spectrum antibiotics just weren't doing the trick and Becket had to radio Atlantis for more powerful drugs. Jennifer, god love her, believed his story that a local farmer had accidentally cut himself with an axe resulting in a serious infection. No only did she arrange for a Marine to make a special delivery though the gate but she even offered for the poor man to come to Atlantis for treatment. Beckett thanked her and said he had it under control but he felt like a heel...

Carson watched as his friend tossed fitfully on the cot. Now and again the shakes would stop and he thought John was finally getting over the worst but then the sick man would start muttering "too cold" and the nightmare would begin again. He just prayed that Sheppard would turn the corner soon.

Johns return to awareness came slowly. He had the mother of all head aches and his body felt as if it was made of lead.. When he went to lift his hand he felt the all too familiar tug of the IV and then, yup there it was, a catheter. Was he back in Atlantis? He slowly opened his eyes but instead of the familiar Infirmary ceiling all he could see was a rough wooden roof.. It all started to come back to him. He had made it from that hellish place and was now in the care of a friend. John felt as if he was coming out of a fog when he became aware of a child crying nearby and suddenly got confused. "T la?"

Carson was carrying out baby C arsons check up when he heard John stir so he handed the child back to his mother and went over to this patient.

"Hello Colonel, its about time you woke up, how are you feeling" John tried to speak but his mouth was so dry he could only lift his hand slightly and do the universal signal for "I've been better" Carson supported his head and helped him take a small sip of water before he started to check his vitals.

"Somebody up there must like you son. It was touch and go for a while there but I think your finally on the mend now" John looked up and Carson knew what he wanted to know. "You've been pretty much out of it for four days now. The best thing for you now is sleep but before you nod off again there's someone I'd like you to meet." Carson crossed the room and took the baby over to let him see. "John Sheppard, I would like to introduce you to Carson Gervan" A small smile crossed Johns face and Beckett thought it was the best present he'd been given in a long time...

* * *

The event horizon whooshed into life and Carson stepped through into Atlantis gate' room. The early morning light shone through the windows causing mini rainbows to appear on the marble floor making it look almost fragile. Memories flooded back and Carson remembered the time that the Geni had tried to take Atlantis from them.. That had been a dark day but fortunately there had been many good times too and he honestly couldn't regret having make the journey here over five years ago.

Carson couldn't help but compare the quiet laid back life he had now with the busy control centre in front of him. No one here seemed to stay still for a minute regardless of whether it was one of the scientists going to their labs or an away team getting ready to go off world. This was his life too once. He enjoyed his visits here but didn't really know if he ever wanted to come back to Atlantis full time.

There was the man he was there to see. "Mr Woolsey if your not too busy, might I have a few minutes of your time?"

"Certainly Mr Beckett, I'm just about to get an update from Dr McKay on the search for Colonel Sheppard, would you like to join us?" Carson nodded his acceptance and took a deep breath. This was not going to be easy...

Teyla, Ronon and Lorne were already in the conference room when he entered. Rodney, as usual was late. Mr Woolsey brought the meeting to order. "I'll start shall I? I have spoken to Ladon and without giving the exact nature of Colonel Sheppard's disappearance (everyone looked uncomfortable) I have simply advised him that he went missing on Aldova and hasn't been seen since. Ladon has offered his help and will let me know if he receives any information as to Sheppard's whereabouts. Er, I have also spoken to Todd. Apart from saying how careless it was to lose our Military Commander.. he didn't make any other comment. You never know with him but given their unique relationship he may or may not be willing to help, only time will tell. Dr McKay, do you have anything to report?

Carson couldn't stand this any more. "I,m sorry to interrupt Mr Woolsey but I actually have information on Colonel Sheppard's whereabouts. He's staying with me"

Suddenly all eyes were fixed upon him and from the looks he was getting he felt like he'd just told a bunch of 5yr olds that Santa was dead.

"How long - just how long have you kept this, oh, insignificant piece of information to yourself Carson!"

"Stop right there Rodney. John arrived later on the same day you came to see me. He was badly hurt and I tried to convince him to return to Atlantis but he threatened to leave unless I promised to keep his presence a secret until he was ready. The lad still isn't well but he needs an operation and John realises that for that to happen he needs to come back here. Apart from his leg he is starting to heal, physically at least but you ALL have to listen to me when I say that his mind is in a fragile state right now and if any of you – Rodney- start to bombard him with questions any chance you have of John coming back here for good will have gone. Do you understand? Mr Woolsey, have you done anything about Colonel Sheppard's resignation?"

Woolsey slowly shook his head "No, I knew that the Colonel had been through quite an ordeal and I thought it prudent to speak to him first before notifying the SGC"

"Good man, because I have a plan that if it works, would see John Sheppard staying in Atlantis."

* * *

John watched the jumper coming through the wormhole knowing that it was coming to take him back to Atlantis. He actually felt nervous. Carson had told him that if he didn't get his leg fixed he would loose full mobility of that limb and with that his pilots license. For a medical man Carson did blackmail incredibly well. It had been 10 days since he arrived here and he still felt incredibly weak but at least he looked better or least he thought he did until Rodney came through the door.

"Hi Sheppard.... Beckett, I thought you said he was getting better, he looks like hell!"

"Hi Rodney, long time no see"

Damn, John realised as soon as the words left his mouth that was totally the wrong thing to say as Rodney's face fell " Its really good to see you Colonel I'll just wait outside"

Teyla walked over to him and put her head to his finishing with a hug. John flinched, Damn, Teyla must have felt that! These people meant a lot to him once and he really didn't mean to hurt them. He just wanted the operation, hell all of it to be over, so that he could say his goodbyes and go.

As soon as Carson had deemed him well enough John had been told of the reason why it had taken so long to rescue him.. He understood it and he was glad that the little girl and her family were okay but his decision stood. For Sheppard it had been one too many missions gone wrong and he just didn't think he could do it any more... Ronon walked in with two marines carrying a litter "Are you ready to go Sheppard?." .

"No way am I getting on that, I thought we agreed Carson!"

"No Son, I agreed that you wouldn't be flat on your back going through the gate room and you wont be as I have a arranged a wheelchair to meet the jumper. Listen to me John, if you want me to come back with you there are certain conditions and this is one of them. Are we clear?".

Ronon and Teyla held back a smile and John drew both of them a dirty look as Ronon helped him into the litter. Carson looked at his friends and thought that maybe, just maybe the healing process had just begun.


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for all the support you have given me. I really appreciate it.

Disclaimer:- SGA isn't mine, if it was it would be on its 6th season by now.

BETRAYED

CHAPTER VIII

Lt Colonel John Sheppard was afraid. In his basic training he was told that fear was natural, hell it was even necessary to keep your senses alert to danger, to keep you alive. As a young recruit he was taught how to harness the fear so that he could use it as a tool against the enemy and to keep his comrades safe. It was fear that drove him to collaborate with a wraith, the same being that had painfully torn years from his life, in order to make good his escape and return home to Atlantis. Who knew then that Todd would give back what he took and would become the unusual ally he was to day.

This however was different. Sheppard felt that his body was out of control. His heart was racing and he could feel his hands starting to shake. Get a grip John! He could, would do this.

John could feel Ronon watching him as he pushed the chair through the busy corridors, so he balled his hands into fists to get himself under control. All he had to do was hold it together long enough and he would be in the infirmary where he could hide away from all of the prying eyes. It seemed that every single member of the Atlantis expedition had come out to welcome him back. He knew that as Military Commander they expected him to behave a certain way - stoic - Rodney called it. So John pinned on the winning Sheppard smile and make all the correct responses. No one seemed to notice that the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. Finally he arrived at the relative seclusion of the Infirmary and he started to relax for the first time since he'd left the cabin earlier that day.

Kellar had agreed that Carson would be the physician in charge of Johns care. Sheppard liked Jennifer and knew that she was an excellent doctor but he just couldnt take her happy smiley face right now. He knew that sounded harsh but he would rather have Carson any day. The man might kick his ass now and then but he was honest and uncompromising and most importantly John trusted him.

Carson walked over to John and could see the nurse taking his BP give him a knowing look. Beckett didn't need to see the results to know that Sheppard's blood pressure was sky high. The man's jaw was clenched and his body was trembling. "Marcie could you set up an I V for Colonel Sheppard please love" John glowered at Carson.

"Don't start with me Colonel. For starters I need to give you something to help you relax, your wound up as tight as a drum. Besides which we need to take bloods and do a full range of tests to make sure that everything is okay before I can operate. I didn't have access to the Ancient scanner in the cabin"

Carson looked to see if John had appreciated his little joke. Okay, no reaction. He pulled up a stool beside the bed and pulled around the privacy curtain. "Look John, you really should cut yourself a bit of slack you know. You've been through a lot and its going to take time to get back to normal. The stay in the prison – John flinched – affected you mentally as well at physically. No company, apart from the boy, isn't natural especially for a man like you. Look I know that you don't want this right now but there are people here who want, need, to see you and its in your own best interests to at least make your peace with them before you leave" John finally looked up and Carson decided to continue before his friend zoned out again. "Tell you what were going to do. I'm going to get Marcie to get you a nice turkey sandwich and then I'll give you something to make sure that you get a decent nights sleep. Tomorrow, when your feeling more like yourself you can start to receive visitors, one at a time and not for too long. How does that sound?"

John didn't think it sounded good at all, but he knew Carson was right, he'd have to start some time.

"Okay doc I,ll give it a try, I cant promise anything though"

"No ones expecting you to Son, just see how it goes eh?"

Sheppard woke up to the familiar sound of fingers tapping on a keyboard. Rodney... So much for giving him time...

"Bout time you woke up. I brought you some breakfast, cereal and scrambled eggs" John eased himself up on the pillow and had a look at the tray - no eggs - Rodney looked embarrassed " Well the eggs were getting cold and you know how I don't like to waste good food"

"That's fine Rodney, thanks"

"I brought your game boy I know how boring it is in here...."

"Thanks, I'll look at it later, I still feel kinda tired....

"Yes, yes, of course, well I have to get back to the lab anyway, discoveries to make, mankind to save, you know the kind of thing. I'll see you later?"

"Sure Rodney...later"

Rodney picked up his laptop and walked out the Infirmary as fast as he feet would carry him until he reached the nearest balcony. Carson was already there leaning on the rail enjoying his first coffee of the day.

"Have you seen his eyes Carson? He looked right through me like I wasn't there. Tell me, I can take it, he hates us doesn't he. You did him why we took so long to come get him?"

Carson turned around to look at his friend. " He knows Rodney. John also understands why. But for a long time he thought his team had left him behind. In a warped kind of way finding out that you hadn't given up on him has made him feel guilty. Guilty that he didn't trust you in the first place. Did you know that apart from the harsh conditions prisoners weren't allowed to speak to one another? Can you imagine what that was like? To keep himself sane John had to built up barriers to protect himself. Its going to take time Rodney and you have to realise that Colonel Sheppard is not going to return to the man you knew over night, just don't give up on him, okay?"

Carson pulled off his latex gloves and watched as Sheppard was taken into recovery. The operation had gone without a hitch. It would take time and a lot of physical therapy but John would eventually regain full use of his leg. Now, if he could just heal his wounded spirit as easily...

Rodney, Teyla and Ronon became regular visitors even if the conversations were a little one sided.

Carson noticed that the only time that John brightened was when Teyla brought Torren to see him. John would take the little boy into his arms and smile as the kid pulled his hair. He was sure for a while that Sheppard was trying to encourage the boy to yank out his I V line but he soon put a stop to that.. Carson knew that Sheppard wanted to be free of all reminders of his ordeal but regardless of what John thought, he still needed his pain meds for a while yet.

The sea breeze whipped back his hair and chilled his skin. John shivered but he wasn't ready to go in just yet. The sun was just coming up and Atlantis looked her best early in the morning as the golden rays reflected off the rising spires and made everything look as if it was made of gold.

From the balcony he could see the waves breaking against the north pier. They reminded him of the sweet breakers he used to surf beside the Sheppard beach house in Malibu. Every summer his mother would take him and Dave there for the summer vacation. His father seldom came as he always had more important things to do in the city. Those were the happiest days of his young life riding the waves one after another and finally lying exhausted watching his Mom make sand castles with Dave on the beach. All that changed after she died. Patrick Sheppard didn't believe in vacations and put John to work during the holidays in an attempt to teach him the family business. For years now John believed that the beach house had been sold a long time ago so he was surprised to learn that the old man had left it to him in his will as well as ten percent of the business. So far he'd been too busy dealing with the bad guys in the Pegasus galaxy but maybe now after he leg healed he would have a chance to check it out and see if he could still put his board through its paces.

"Are you supposed to be out there?" Ronon had seen his friend sitting in the wheelchair as he went past on his morning run.

"Its okay chewie, the doc wanted to get rid of me for a while, got fed up with me bitching about getting the hell out of dodge" Ronon smiled, Sheppard hadn't used his nickname since he had come home.

"I was just heading for breakfast, want to come?"

"Sure why not, all Marcie brings me is cereal and eggs. Bye the time she gets there all the sweet rolls have gone"

The commissary was quiet at this time of the morning. Julie the supervisor made a fuss of him, filling his tray with several sweet rolls and the Athosian red berries that he loved. John knew that his appetite still hadn't returned to normal but he didn't have the heart to refuse and anyway there was always someone at the table who would make short work of his left overs.

"So I just said to Zelenka, how did you possibly think that would work? Didn't I tell you last week that your equations were wrong?- Oh hi Sheppard – so what do you think he did, he only swore at me and told me that I wasn't as smart as I thought I was as he had used my equation and that's what caused the device blow up!"

"Are you going to eat all of those.. - Ow! - what's with the slapping?"

"You could at least wait until I finished eating Rodney"

Carson had been worried when John hadn't returned to the Infirmary. He was surprised to find him in the Commissary with his team acting more like the Sheppard of old. The meds could wait a little longer as the company of his friends was the best medicine he could think of right now.

A few days later John made his way to Woolseys Office to face the meeting he had been dreading.

Carson had supplied him with a set of crutches the day before but as John still tired easily Telya offered to walk with him pushing the wheelchair.

"Thanks Teyla, you don't have to do that you know."

"I don't mind John anyway I though you might like a little, I think you call it, moral support? before your meeting. I'll be here waiting for you when you are ready to leave"

John gave her a grateful look and walked into the lions den

"Good morning Colonel Sheppard, how are you feeling?"

"Its just Mr Sheppard now, you got my resignation right?"

"That's what we need to discuss Colonel" Damn John thought, he's not going to make this easy...

"I understand that when you wrote this you were badly wounded and under a lot of metal duress. Under these circumstances I am not prepared to accept your resignation and would ask you to reconsider"

"Look Mr Woolsey, its not that I don't appreciate what you are trying to do but to be honest I don't think that I am the best man for the job any more. I know that there are candidates far more qualified than I am who would be much more suitable for this position"

"I don't doubt it, but none of them are Lt Colonel John Sheppard. I don't think you fully realise how much you mean to all of the people here. They look up to you. Without you Colonel, Atlantis just wouldn't be the same."

John was speechless.

"I'll tell you what Colonel, Carson tells me that when you are well enough to leave the Infirmary you are going to receive physical therapy in a specialist unit on Earth" ( Well that was news) " I would only ask one thing. While you are gone take the time to consider your future. If you still feel the same way in a few weeks I will respect your wishes. Do you agree"

"Not really, but I don't suppose I have much of a choice do I?"

Woolsey smiled. Man, if the suits can con him he really was losing his touch.

Carson later explained that he had an old school buddy who ran a clinic that specialised in dealing with sports injury's. The equipment there was state of the art and Carson felt that it could only benefit John as his leg would get back to full mobility much quicker. Sheppard didn't veto the idea as in his book anything that would get him away from Atlantis had to be a good thing. He was staring to get too comfortable and every day he stayed would make it more difficult to leave.

Finally the day of his departure came. One at a time his team came forward and said their goodbyes

"I'll be in touch Sheppard, your the only one who gives me a descent challenge at chess – even if you do cheat"

"Take care of yourself Rodney" and shook his hand.

Teyla came forward and rested her forehead on his and hugged him gently. " We will meet again John, of that I am sure."

"Be seeing you Sheppard" Ronon slapped his back and if he hadn't been in the wheelchair he probably would have have fallen over.

John swallowed, he didn't think that when he arrived here a few short weeks ago that leaving his team, was going to be this hard.

At last the event horizon burst into life and within seconds Sheppard and Beckett found themselves in the gate room of the SGC. His new life had begun, so why wasn't he more happy about it?

.


	9. Chapter 9

Just want to thank every one for sticking with the story. I have really appreciated all the great reviews and helpful advice.

Disclaimer:- SGA isn't mine. If it was it would be on its 6th Season by now.

Well is Sheppard going to leave Atlantis for good ?....

BETRAYED

CHAPTER IX

Carson walked through the drab concrete bunkers of the SGC and wondered, not for the first time how any one could work down here full time. What he wouldn't give to be back in his native Scotland or even Atlantis again but at least his time here would be short and hopefully he would be able to return to his cabin again, sooner rather than later.

Sheppard really did have the worst luck..The plan was for the pair to stay at the SGC for a few days while they underwent the standard physical and to make sure that they weren't carrying any Pegasus galaxy bugs back to Earth. Well that particular protocol was there for good reason as within 48 hours of arriving John came down with the Pegasus version of the measles. It turned out that Torren was the culprit having caught the virus while on a visit to the main land

As Teyla and Ronon had caught the illness as children they were fine. Rodney developed a few yellow spots and a mild fever but despite his protestations that he was dying, Kellar released him to rest in his quarters within a few days and he was back working in his lab the following week. John on the other hand had not been in the best shape to start with so he was currently lying in the SGC Infirmary covered from head to toe with bright yellow spots and running a temp of 102.

It turned out that Carson had escaped the virus because of Michael. Who would have guessed that the biggest serial killer of the Pegasus Galaxy had done him a favour as during the cloning process Beckett's DNA had been altered to resist most types of virus, apparently including this one. However the SGC doctors decided to keep Carson in quarantine for an additional 48 hours just in case.

John felt like crap. Part of him knew that this virus was nothing compared to what he had been through recently but he was completely miserable, roasting hot one minute and shivering the next plus every part of his body was one big ache. The only visitors he'd had so far were the medical staff dressed in hazmat suits but they were treating him like the prize exhibit at the science fair which was really pissing him off.

One particular doctor (who looked a lot like Kavanagh )was constantly in his face – literally- taking close up pictures of his spots. When John glowered at him the guy had the audacity to scold him saying that he should consider himself lucky as the virus was getting named after him and "Sheppard Spot" was to be the subject of a research paper. Lucky was certainly not the way he was feeling. Yet again he was back in the Infirmary but this time there was nothing but concrete and metal to look at and no balcony to escape to. This was supposed to be the start of a new life. Well so far it sucked and as far as he was concerned it didn't bode well for the future.

Carson walked into the Infirmary and could see John lying curled up on his side looking like a wet rag. His face was flushed and his eyes looked distant, staring into space. Why was it his friend never seemed to catch a break?

"Hi Colonel how are you feeling?"

"Carson, thank God ! I thought I was going to go crazy down here! Have you heard how Torren and Rodney are? I've asked but no-one will tell me. They poke and prod, take pictures...Do you know they've named the freaking virus after me!"

Beckett hid a smile. "Torren and Rodney are both fine and yes I have heard about "Sheppard's Spot". Fat lot of good it will do them though as the only place they could publish would be in the Pegasus galaxy" Sheppard should have realised that. The thought that Kavanagh's twin had done all that work for nothing made him smile for the first time in days.

As soon as Johns fever broke Beckett had him transferred into the guest quarters as he could tell that the pilot was becoming depressed again. At least there Carson could supervise his care and start him back on some gentle exercises for his leg. When the two men were sharing a pizza one night Carson asked the the million dollar question.

"So John, have you given any thought about what you want to do next?"

John put down the slice he had been eating and looked into the face of his friend "After my leg is on the mend I thought I would have a holiday first. I was left a beach house in my fathers will, cant remember the last time I saw it. Anyway I want to check it out. As for after that, I don't really know. The Air Force has been my life for so long now I don't think that becoming a commercial pilot would cut it for me. Maybe I should finally follow my fathers wishes and join the family firm. That would have made him happy."

"You could always go back to Atlantis John, there are people there who care for you. I know that you made a decision to leave but you know now that the situation wasn't as clear cut as you first thought and it really is okay to change your mind."

"I know that Doc but to be honest I am really tired of the whole nearly dying thing. The fact is I would give my life for any one of you but recently, its not been about that. It seems that even helping a kid on the street gets me into grief and to nearly lose my life because of that...well I didn't sign up for that"

Beckett thought that John looked beat in more ways than one. "What do you say we give the clinic a miss for a few days, how do you feel about going on a road trip?"

* * *

Finally, nearly 3 weeks after arriving at the SCG Beckett wheeled John out to see their "ride"

A Volkswagen camper van sat out in the compound car park. It had cobalt blue metallic paint and was decorated with a surfer on a large yellow surfboard riding a wave.

"I'm really sorry John but this was the only one the rental company had left.... "

Sheppard got out of the chair and hobbled over to the van. He place his hand on the side savouring the feel of the shiny paintwork under his fingers. He turned to Carson with a huge smile. "This is cool! How much does the guy want for it?" A phone call later and the van was his. Beckett shook his head. If only the Military contingent on Atlantis could see their CO now.

The last time David Sheppard had seen his brother was just after their fathers funeral. Since then the contact between them had been patchy at best. However when the phone call came from John asking if could come visit with a friend for a couple of days, Dave was relived as he hadn't heard from his brother for several months and was starting to get worried

As soon as the garish looking van came up the driveway Dave knew it could only be John. Patrick Sheppard was right about his eldest son – he was irresponsible and would never grow up. The van stopped outside the entrance and a short stocky man with a Scottish accent helped John out of the passenger seat. Dave was shocked to see his brother looking so pale and leaning heavily on crutches.

"I'd like to say that you were looking well John but what has happened to you now?"

Deflecting all talk away from himself was a John Sheppard speciality"Its good to see you Dave I'd like to introduce you to a good friend of mine. Dr Carson Beckett meet Dave Sheppard my younger brother"

Carson had heard from Ronon that Sheppard came from money but this was beyond what he had expected. The large two story white washed house was set in the middle of a large lawn running down to a steam. There was a huge paddock to the side with stables and he could count at least six horses grazing in the nearby field. Looking at all of this he couldn't really blame John if he chose to go back to a life of luxury compared to what he'd had to endure during the last 5 years. Beckett was starting to consider that maybe his plan to reunite Atlantis with her favourite son might not work after all.

The two siblings had a lot of catching up to do so Beckett make his excuses and left them to talk. It was obvious that there was a lot of unresolved issues between them and he just hoped that they would be able to work it out so that both men could get some closure. Carson was told to help himself and he didn't need to be told twice as he took a large dram of Talisker single malt and walked out into the paddock and down towards the stream. This place was really beautiful, something must have went badly wrong to make Sheppard want to leave all of this behind. Remembering his patient Carson checked his watch, John was due for his meds, so he finished his drink and went back inside. As he entered the living room Dave was helping a sleeping John to lie flat out on the couch.

Carson immediately went to Johns side and started to take his vitals.

"He fell asleep as I was talking to him. Please Dr Beckett, tell me what happened to my brother?"

Dave had seen the faint scars around Johns wrists and he wasn't stupid. While John slept the two men talked for hours. Beckett had told him as much as he was allowed given that Dave didn't have security clearance. It was clear that John was only considered to be a selfish "fly boy" flaunting his fathers wishes, but given the story that this earnest Scot was telling him Dave now knew that wasn't the case. His father had been wrong about John, they both had. He decided then and there that if John was willing he would like to give their relationship a second chance.

Two days later and the Volkswagen hit the road once again. Carson didn't tell John about their conversation, nor did he plan to. He was just happy to see John looking more relaxed than he'd done in a long time. He just hoped that he would stay that way...

* * *

It was nightfall by the time that they finally reached for their destination.

John was still weak from the virus so Carson had given him something to help him sleep and settled him down in the back of the van. Sheppard really hated being treated like a kid but he knew that Carson meant well and he had to admit it, the visit with Dave had really taken it out of him. He was so sure that joining the family firm would be the way to go but after taking to Dave he knew now that being a corporate clone wasn't for him. The decision he had made all those years ago had been the right one. So where did that leave him and what was he going to do now?

It was the sunlight streaming through the window that alerted Sheppard to the sound of waves hitting the shore. What the hell, where had Beckett parked last night? – if his van was stuck in the sand...John sat up, he was no longer in the van. at some point during the night he had been taken to this room and placed on a bed. It was strange but something about the place seemed familiar somehow. Had he been kidnapped ? And where was Beckett... His heart thudded in his chest as he looked for something he could use as a weapon. Damn, someone was coming. He got out of bed as quickly as his bum leg would allow and reached for his crutches but it was too late...

" Hi Sheppard thought you might be awake, want some breakfast?" - Rodney McKay!

John was furious "Let me guess, I suppose it was Ronon who carried me in last night? And where's Teyla?"

"Teylas downstairs in the kitchen – what ever you do don't take her oatmeal. Don't say I told you but a cook she ain't. Sheppard ! John! where the hell do you think you're going?"

John had to get away. He went straight past Rodney out of a familiar side door and down the path to the beach. By the time he got to the waters edge his leg wouldn't support him any more and he fell down onto the sand. Great, he couldn't get away now even if he had to. Sheppard had run away all the way from Aldova to the milky way where could he possibly go next?

It was cold at this time of the day and Beckett knew that he couldn't leave John outside for long.

He slowly made his way towards the lone figure on the sand and sat down beside him.

"So you don't really have a friend who has a clinic do you? Let me guess, this was all part of some freaking master plan to get me to change my mind and come back to Atlantis wasn't it!"

Carson looked his friend straight in the eye.

"If you think I'm going to apologise John your wrong. For such a smart man you can be a daft bugger at times.. The people in that house, your team, need to heal as much as you do. Don't you realise that they feel terrible for what happened on Aldova. All they want to do is to be given a chance to make it up to you. Ronon and Teyla have spent days working out a programme and installing equipment in the basement to help get your leg get back to normal. Rodney, hell John, the man hasn't been the same since you left, he misses his friend. Its about time that you started to realise that its not all about you. Being part of a team means that when one suffers you all suffer. Get over yourself man and start behaving like the leader that you are."

For a minute Beckett wondered if he had gone too far but a smile crossed Johns face.

"If I could get up right now I would smack you on your ass, you do know that? Help me up,its getting cold out here and I want to see if Teyla's oatmeal is really as bad as McKay says it is"

* * *

It was Christmas Eve and it seemed as though the Wraith had got the memo about the holidays as there had been no life or death situations for over a week now. Cadman and Banks were decorating the tree he had brought back from MP9XO and Carson watched as they argued at to wither it should be a star or an angel that was going on top. Beckett didn't normally hang around the gate room but he was feeling a bit concerned as this was the first time Colonel Sheppard had gone off world since he had returned to active duty.

During the time at the beach house Carson had watched as John gradually returned to health both in body and spirit. Ronon and Teyla worked with Sheppard every day until by the end of their stay John was bugging Carson to let him go surfing. A compromise was reached, there would be no surfing this time but John was allowed to swim in the ocean he loved. Rodney insisted that John should have the latest in electronics and security systems installed, so by the time he was finished Beckett seriously doubted that there was any installation on Earth, let alone beach house in Malibu, that had the same security systems as Atlantis!

Slowly Johns barriers came down and he let his team in again. It might not have been quite the way it was before, too much had happened for that, but it was good enough and he finally made the call to Woolsey to say that he would be returning to Atlantis.

David Sheppard became a regular visitor to the beach house. The brothers would reminisce over the happy times they spent their as kids when their mother was alive and later by the fire Dave entertained them all with stories of their CO as a young boy – much to Johns embarrassment.

Carson knew that he had been too had been forgiven for his deception as when he first returned to his cabin there was a case of Talisker single malt waiting for him.

"Off world activation, its Dr McKay's IDC"

Sheppard team came through the gate' soaking wet and covered in mud with Ronon and Teyla supporting their limping CO on either side.

A worried Carson rushed to Johns side " What happened to you Colonel?"

Sheppard drew McKay a dirty look "Blame him, I told Rodney to watch where he was going but he tripped in a pot hole and took me with him!"

McKay snarked back " If Colonel calamity here hadn't been too busy looking over my shoulder at the life signs detector in the first place, he would have been just fine!"

Ronon and Teyla eased John down onto the stair to let Carson have a look at his ankle. "Its only a sprain but I'll get you under the scanner just to be sure"

Giving John a knowing look "Is every else okay Colonel?"

With a smile in his eyes John looked straight at Beckett "Everything is just fine Doc" and Carson knew then that it was.

The End

Thanks to all of you for reading my first effort. I have been thrilled at the great reviews and appreciate the helpful suggestions. I promise to try to find a Beta for my next story!

In the meantime I hope that you all have a wonderful Christmas and a healthy happy New Year.


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